Peter
by Suzukata
Summary: Ed's view during and after the battle, and how he sees the world and his brother...WARNING! Peter x Edmund! Don't like, don't read, 'cause I could care less about flames!


Suzu: Wow...okay, now I know that C. S. Lewis was against this kind of stuff...but I don't really care. Flames will be used to fry bacon and eggs for my New Year's breakfast. And if you think I own the Narnia series, then you clearly know nothing about how much cash I have.

I no own, you no sue. Deal? Good. Enjoy!

* * *

I can see her Peter.

She's coming at you from behind, watching you fight with cold green eyes. Her sword is drawn, her wand by her side. She's quiet, and you don't see or hear her.

She's going to kill you.

Or worse, turn you into stone.

That would be worse, because then she could smash you like she did the statue of the griffin, and you wouldn't be able to stop her. Your face would stay frozen in horror, and it would haunt me, paralyze me until her sword was resting between my ribs.

I can't let her kill you.

She's so strong Peter.

But I can do it. I don't have to kill her. Just warn you. Just save you. The wand is ice; it shatters easily. You hear it, I can tell, because your head turns, turns to look at me with wide, horrified eyes.

She's angry now; angry and ready to kill me. I'm no good with a sword yet. Good enough to kill some things, but not good enough to defeat the Witch herself.

It hurts Peter.

The broken end of the wand is ice cold, and it hurts. She twists it, and her eyes are locked on mine. _You betrayed them_, those eyes say, _You deserve to die_. I did, didn't I? I betrayed you. I almost got you killed.

Death seems so close, and so peaceful.

I can hear you screaming for me, screaming _Edmund!_ But it's all so far away, and my head is swimming. I can't see anything anymore, but if I can hear you, then you aren't dead.

It's so cold Peter.

I can't hear anything but the pounding of swords on swords, steel on steel. It hurts, burning cold spreading through my body. I can't breathe anymore, not well, it hurts, it hurts. I can't cry, I can't scream, that might distract you, and you have to stay alive.

There's something warm sliding down my throat, and it helps, helps me breathe so that I don't have to try so hard. I can see, see your face next to Susan and Lucy.

You're crying Peter.

It's my fault, isn't it? It's always my fault when things go wrong, always my fault. I know that, and it hurts me, hurts to know that it was me who almost got you killed.

_When will you ever learn to do as you're told?_ You gasp, and I'm pulled into your embrace, and for seconds, it's alright, everything's alright. Me, you, the girls, Aslan, Narnia, everything's going to be fine.

You're a King now Peter.

So am I, but what does that matter, because you're High King, King of all Kings, the one who will lead us into battle, the one who will teach the people how to live.

The one who will be first to die.

I don't want you to die Peter.

It's night now, but I can't sleep, not knowing that I've betrayed you all so badly, that I've put you all in such danger. The Witch was right; I am a traitor, and all of Narnia knows it. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me, even when they smile, they are wary, too wary.

You're so warm Peter.

_You should be asleep Ed._ You whisper, and it's true, I should be asleep, but I'm not, I can't sleep, not right now. The blanket is soft and warm, and your arms hold it in place around me, just as warm as any blanket.

_I can't sleep_. I whisper back, and I can't meet your worried eyes. A traitor shouldn't look at a King.

_Ed…are you alright? _You shouldn't be asking me that, because I can't lie to you anymore without ripping out my own heart and watching my soul writhe in eternal torment. But if I tell you the truth, you'll worry, and you shouldn't worry, not over me…

_No._ My voice sounds hollow and lonely, even to me.

_What's wrong? _God, I can't stand the emotion, the caring warmth in your voice. Don't you understand? I betrayed you, I got you hurt, the girls almost died because of me…

_I'm a traitor. I should be dead. _

_Ed! Stop it! Don't say things like that! _Your hands are warm on my shoulders as you spin me around to face you. Your eyes…so kind and gentle, and my walls shatter, falling to the ground as I sob.

I'm scared Peter.

Your arms are warm around my shoulders again, holding my limp, shaking body to your chest as I cry. Strong hands cup my head as you whisper soothing words into my ear, calming me.

_You aren't a traitor Ed. She tricked you, trapped you, put magic on you to confuse you. It isn't your fault Ed. It's okay, we love you Ed. _And your voice is so soothing, so calming and warm that I believe you, I believe every word that you're saying to me.

You're so warm Peter.

And your lips are soft and kind against mine, gentle and loving, so I kiss you back, willing my arms to wrap around you. Time stops right now, for us, bending to help us in this one tiny moment. Your arms snake around my waist, until there isn't any space between us at all, just Peter and Edmund, pressed against each other, kissing. You pull away, gasping, and there is something in your eyes that I've never seen before.

_Love you Ed._

Love you Peter.

* * *

Suzu: Pointless, joyful slash-i-ness. Love it, or hate it. Either way, REVIEW IT! 


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